its that time of year again

you were in my dreams again last week
we were holding hands, crossing lincoln street
i was showing you around my hometown in my little white truck, cruising though alleyways
you looked about 6 or 7, but i knew you were younger

when i woke up, it took me about a day to figure out who that little boy was in my dream
we looked related, but he wasnt my nephew or little cousin.

then i remembered what month it was
and how it has been a year since the last time i though of you
like you once, really existed.

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talking to you tio comes so easy
you have a voice thats hard as a rock but smooth like velvet
youre the only person i look forward to talking on the phone

i listen to horrible stories of assault, things that chill my bones, but i tend not to cry.
i am strong on the phone and soft when i talk

i picture you sitting across from me when i talk to you, not in chains, or a jump suit
but in regular clothes with your hair braided, using your hands to communicate
until the sound of the beeps warn us that our time is almost up
thats when the warm feeling of tears comes along and my voice starts to crack
i pretend to be strong and hope you cant tell im about to cry

thats when you put your hand on my shoulder and tell me its ok, we'll talk later
i can barely say bye and i love you before the line disconnects
and your a thousand miles away again

jen, always a friend

my best friend saved me from being stranded in west sacramento this morning at the crack of dawn.
she didnt have to answer her phone at 5:45 am but she did.
we were friends before i even knew what a friend was.
we grew up together
lived under the same roof and shared a room when we were 10 years old
eventually moved out of town together, it wasnt san francisco like we planned when we were 12, but atleast it wasnt woodland.
had one disagreement, only to come to an agreement later that we were acting rediculous.
now we live separate lifes, even though only separated by a brightly colored bridge
her; a stay at home mom with a husband and two wonderful babies
and me; no plans of marriage or children in the near future, just a loving boyfriend and a cat that likes to cuddle
we dont get to see each other much
but i always know i can call her when i need her
and know she'll always be there